The Apprentice 2011: Glenn engineers his own downfall

Matt Hall, managing director of Profunnel, looks at episode seven of The Apprentice in which the candidates were tasked with creating a free magazine.

This week saw the Apprentice wannabes start bright and early on Fleet Street, the original newspaper hub of the UK and an appropriate beginning for the task ahead.

 

The basis of the task was to jump on ‘the latest innovation’ in media – free premium magazines or as they’re called in the business – ‘freemiums’. The idea was to design a prototype of a new magazine and pitch it to Britain’s biggest buyers in advertising space.

 

With a little reshuffle of the teams; Natasha now heading up Logic and smooth-talking Jim selected as PM for Venture; the teams were given a pep talk from the founder of Shortlist Media, a publisher of freemium magazine, who described the simple yet crucial elements to succeeding in the business; understand the consumer and meet deadlines.

 

Quick as a flash, Natasha jumped straight in suggesting Logic focus on lads’ mags, much to the dismay of good-boy Tom and angelic Helen who thought that was too stereotypical. Their suggestion to aim at professional men was quickly shot-down by acting ladette Natasha.

 

Over with Venture, Jim surprisingly was in favour of aiming at the over-60s which sparked an array of laughs and concerns from the team members. However, they were soon to be turned by Jim’s silken charm and before we knew it, the decision was made; lads’ mags for Logic and the ‘older generation’ for Venture, something which Glenn had serious issues with.

 

The focus groups are always interesting. Susan and Glenn headed over to a bowling club where Susan could not have been more patronising; "would you like crosswords to keep their memories going?", she said. Unsurprisingly, the group was not impressed and emphasised that the magazine shouldn’t be tailored for old-fogies but for a fit and young-minded older age-range. Important advice straight from the horse’s mouth and surely the group wouldn’t ignore this?

 

Meanwhile at Logic’s focus group, a bunch of burley rugby players aired their views of what they want in a lads’ mag; needs to be more tasteful and raise the tone. They were also keen on Tom and Helen’s idea of a professional edge, and surprisingly, naked-free.

 

Reporting back to Natasha, the focus group was clearly a waste of time as she was still hung up on a typical lads’ mag, stating that ‘naked sells’ and that’s that. Nevertheless the team easily agreed on the title to be ‘Covered’. The story wasn’t quite the same for team Logic.

 

Susan and Glenn report back, suggesting the title needs to be light-hearted yet suitable for the target market, so far so good. However Glenn then proceeds to ramble off a list of absolutely crazy names; ‘The Old Boot’, ‘Life’s Too Short’, ‘Coffin Dodgers’?!…to name a few. Nick’s eyebrows said it all! The team partly agreed on ‘Hip Replacement’, suggested by Zoe, with Susan whispering her very hardest to say it was a bad idea but not quite loud enough in Jim and Zoe’s opinion.

 

Amusingly Tom got extremely hot under the collar, awkwardly instructing a gaggle of half naked girls for the ‘Covered’ photo shoot. Contrastingly it was all cardigans and dentures across at Venture’s shoot.

With the shoot finished and the mock-up cover and content complete, the magazines were finished and delivered to the house the next morning.

 

As it stood, the ‘Covered’ magazine couldn’t have been more like a typical lads’ mag if they’d tried while ‘Hip Replacement’ was so cheesy and 80s it was exactly what the focus group didn’t want. You wonder how it can all go so terribly wrong in less than a day!

 

On to the pitches. Glenn and Susan shied away from the prospect with Glenn rather proudly admitting to pitching without preparation and Susan unhelpfully stating she’s never pitched before. No need to fear though, ‘hero’ Jim stepped up to the job in hand. In usual form, he was too eager to charm the buyers round to his way of thinking and not concentrate on the main way of making a deal in this industry, negotiation. The general consensus from the buyers was that there is a gap in the market for a young professionals lads’ mag but the team had gone off track with the condescending ‘blow your load’ cheap angle.

 

Thoughts were similar for Logic, once you got past Natasha’s awful interruptions to Leon’s pitch, the buyers again liked the concept and saw definite potential but couldn’t get over the dreadful title. However the difference being between the two teams that Logic, negotiated off the red-card rate.

 

The boardroom had to be one of the best so far, with some hilarious quick-wit from Lord Sugar and horrendous insults from Jim.

 

Although Sugar wasn’t all that impressed by the lads’ mag, the team secured some good sales, with one buyer wanting to purchase every page at £60,000, while loathing Hip Replacement, not wanting to buy any advertising space. So consequently team Logic won, Tom was pleased as punch and Helen remained un-touchable.

 

Down at the Bridge Café it was the usual “he said, she said” with everyone trying to back out of taking the blame. The boardroom was much the same with Zoe’s skin saved from ‘being brought back in’ due to her insistence (and Nick’s support, he blatantly is not a fan of Jim) that she had a clear vision of the front cover which Jim ruined.

 

Second round in the boardroom and Jim was persistent in claiming to be ‘the PM that they loved’ who ‘gave a brief tighter than a dog’s behind’ (much to the bemusement of Sugar). Sugar rightly slated Glenn for patronising the target market – even Nick knows how to use a phone!

 

The boardroom then became almost poetic with Jim using all sorts of analogies and metaphors in an attempt to back his corner and all extremely offensive towards Susan. Sugar, Karen and Nick were not impressed (especially as it was actually Bambi’s mother that was shot, Jim.)

 

Surprisingly it was Glenn who was fired and for reasons not necessarily related to the task. It became apparent that Sugar has employed a number of engineers in the past and witnessed the lack of success they have in business. So with Glenn being an engineer himself, he had no chance really and that was the end of his time on The Apprentice. It does beg the question though why Glenn was selected in the first place if Sugar already had his mind made up.