The Apprentice 2011: Zoe discovers the way the cookie crumbles

The prize is huge – a partnership and huge investment – but even so, within 10 minutes of a task being assigned, strategy goes straight out of the window. It’s almost as though we could be watching 10 things NOT to do in business.

 

This week’s task was to invent a new ‘distinct’, ‘standout’ brand of biscuit.

 

As soon as the two teams get started it’s clear that yet again Helen – eight times on the winning team- is on the money. As project manager she quickly indentifies with her team, target market and USP; opting for the children’s market and mass appeal.

 

On the opposing team however, chaos reigns as discussion focuses more on who goes where rather than defining what they are making and who for. So without a clear team brief, it’s left to Tom (the nutty inventor) to come up with concepts such as Emergency Biscuits and the Two-in-One Biscuit.

 

Focus groups are surely a chance to appeal to your chosen target market and test out your ideas? Although without a clearly defined target market, it’s quite hard to align ideas with the chosen group.

 

The result being: Tom and Melody pitching ‘Popcorn’ to the most unlikely bunch of elderly people, the majority of whom had clearly never eaten popcorn in their life! Yet in true Melody style, even when the group received feedback, she wasn’t listening ; a fundamental error of the highest order. You can never really get anywhere if you don’t listen, and Melody’s attitude of “if your idea doesn’t match mine, then you’re wrong” has been the downfall of countless manager. There’s a fine line between being open minded and pig headed ...a very fine and very dangerous line. For all the wincing and thinking these people have lost the plot,  at least we can be grateful that team didn’t go with the rather catchy name of ‘Pop Squit’, hmmm. Note to product managers: Don’t name any product after human faeces, ever.

 

In the other camp, Helen continued to shine and conducted a focus group exactly as it should be done. Children and Mothers gave feedback that she took on board – a wise move in any case, and something that proved to be pivotal during this episode.

 

Pitching is a critical business skill, and in all my years of experience I can honestly say I have never, ever, seen role play used in these situations. It was tacky, cheesy and quite honestly a little embarrassing! Although as with every cloud, there was a definite silver lining, this time in the form of genius comedy value when watching the expression on buyer’s faces. Even the blonde buyer from Sainsbury’s who looked like she had been slapped in the face with a wet fish seemed confused and lost for a cutting remark...

 

I love watching the way teams interact; it’s fascinating to see the internal politics and clashing of personalities as the pressure increases and the tension mounts. Zoe losing her cool with Melody, Zoe putting Susie in her place, Zoe generally getting get knickers in a twist – priceless, but not professional – and begs the question, is it right (or even OK) to be so aggressive with colleges in the work place? Lord Sugar says it shows passion to win – and yes, passion is a key driver in business with entrepreneurs needing it more than most – but aggression is not passion. Being a firm but fair leader works, being strong in your opinion works, standing up for what you believe in works but being aggressive, especially when it gets personal, well, I’m not a fan of that.

 

And that was Zoe’s downfall.

 

A calamity of bad decisions; not defining her target market or focus group, not getting the product quality right, and then shouting down colleagues in public meant Zoe singlehandedly fired a machine gun full of nails directly in her own coffin. Did the right person get fired? YES.

 

Nevertheless, looking at the other contenders still leaves me worried. The only two people with any business acumen whatsoever appear to be Helen and Melody... hardly a great pool from which to pick from...still a very entertaining pool all the same.