The Apprentice Final: Did the best woman win?

Wow what a final this year. If you didn’t catch my live blog last night, then you can read it again here but as a parting shot, I wanted to give my brief analysis of last night's final of what is undoubtedly the best, if contentious, business reality TV show on the box.

This year has not been without its fair share of headlines. For a start, Suralan himself has been in the firing line by those less than happy about the news that he will continue to head up the next series of The Apprentice despite being made the government's business overlord by his mate Gordon Brown – something to do with a conflict of interest or some such piffle. Of course there was the sad, sad news that Margaret is to bid farewell as she leaves the show to return to studying a PHD in something terribly brainy – good luck to her, she and her swivelling eyeballs will be sorely missed.

And of course we had the romance between Kate and Phil which is apparently all still on and not, I repeat, not a giant publicity stunt to prolong the twosome’s 15 minutes of fame. But, let’s not forget that this is supposedly first and foremost a business show, and while many may grumble that on the surface it has become a reality TV programme, I for one think that there are lessons to be learnt for business people across Britain - even if it’s how not to do business.

The task last night saw all the candidates reunited, even silent giant Rocky, who got he boot after the second episode, was back for more. As is tradition in the final, both teams had to create a new product - and with perfume and events having been done before, that only left chocolates. So both gals had to develop a new brand, design a box and film an advert – all in two days. Kate and her team (Debra, Ben, Kim and Rocky) and Yasmina and her team (Howard, Lorraine, Philip and James) seemed to have their work cut out for them.

Kate, as expected, executed her task with military precision, proving that there’s life in the old robot yet. While she assigned teams to take on specific jobs, there was still a scent of boring about her ideas despite Ben’s attempt to make the whole product sound like an must-have accessory in a chocolate-smeared one night stand. Eventually, after a flirtation with ‘Intimate’ - a name that conjures up images of female hygiene products - for their brand, Kate settled on the very predictable and bland ‘Choc d’Amour’ which when said in a broad Brummy accent sounds as alluring as the prospect of a night of lust with Lorraine. This was targeted at the couples' market with the concept: one layer for him, one for her and one to fight over. Great, but what about same sex couples?

In contrast to Kate’s calm waters of leadership, Yasmina seemed to be rocking the high seas with the ideas coming thick and fast. 'Cocoa Electric' was soon selected as the brand name with the concept being a selection of crazy chocolate flavours that stimulated the taste buds. I actually quite liked this - it was taking a chance and being a bit different.

Next was the branding exercise. Kate’s effort looked like a box of cheap tissues while Yasmina’s was really striking (thanks to Lorraine and the Instinct for making this happen) and with a quirky slidy-flippy way of opening it, it certainly would be something to stand out amidst the shelves of competitors’ chocolates.

I just have to add, while all of this was going on, some more TV gold was being made courtesy of Philip. I mean give the boy a dance studio and a pair of plimsolls and he thinks he’s Kevin Bacon in Flashdance. Totally hilarious....anyway, I digress...

Then it was the advert – Cream Puff Kim was tasked with directing for Kate but it soon became apparent that Creamie couldn’t direct her way out of a burning building, and Kate took over. Now, we have seen her in action on the cereal task and while she was no Steven Spielberg, she wasn’t half bad. The advert went from being a staid and boring ‘Nescafe Gold Blend’ effort into a much jazzier Kenco Coffee affair.

Over in Team Yas, amongst the sound of gagging actors spewing up chucks of basil and strawberry chocolate, an advert was being made. Yes, the chocs tasted like cat sick and flowers and the concept for the ad was Cheesy Mc Cheese and the Cheese Strings but I still thought Yasmina’s product was better – and for one thing, it only cost £6 a box compared to Kate’s sex chocs which cost a whopping £13!

When it came to the presentations, the teams were faced with a glitzy roomful of choc experts dressed up to the nines and Sir A himself. As expected Kate-bot’s pitch was perfect – apart from the ghastly pink Burberry tie she was wearing; not a hair was out of place and she deftly dodged the questions about the extortionate pricing. In fact everyone seemed impressed with the product.

But then it was Yasmina’s turn. The product may have been called Cocoa Electric but she short-circuited when it came to the presentation - perhaps that was just in comparison to Kate’s? Still, the box looked great, the concept was unique and better still, the price was right.

Then it was back in the boardroom for the final finger point of the series: Kate, Yasmina? Yasmina, Kate? Sir A can’t decide, he says, he thinks that Kate is great but Yasmina is meaner – after all she’s an entrepreneur after his own heart. She’s hired! He crowns Yasmina as the winner of The Apprentice 2009 – and well deserved it was.

She has proven she had guts, she understands about keeping down costs, she knows how to place a product correctly in the right market plus she always gets her team mates on side, while Kate just lacked that certain je ne sais quoi.

So that’s it for another year, what am I to do with my Wednesday nights? Roll on 2010: no Margaret, Lord Sugar and a whole host of business wannabes – I can’t bloody wait!