In my mastermind group yesterday we were talking about the fear of failure. In our discussion we concluded that there is no such thing as the fear of failure. In reality it is:
* the fear of looking an idiot
* the fear of losing money if it goes wrong
* the fear of rejection
* the fear of being noticed if it goes right…
* the fear of being out of your comfort zone
When you are networking, whether online or offline, you are very often going to be going out of your comfort zone. By the very definition, going outside of your comfort zone will be uncomfortable. Chatting with people or approaching people you don’t know is always going to be a slightly anxious time…. Will they engage with me…. Will I come across well…. Will they welcome my approach….
After the mastermind group, I then had a coaching session where we were also discussing the fear of failure. (yes, it is the bus scenario again) My client had a habit of thinking really big with his projects and then getting completely overwhelmed by details. Consequently he scared himself and got overwhelmed, so never got started on any of these projects.
Personally, and this may surprise you, I’m not great at approaching people I haven’t spoken to for a long time. Which means I often procrastinate…. And then often not approach them, and rue the fact I haven’t. What am I worried about? For me, it’s looking as if I am being pushy. However, what’s the worst that can happen? They say no, or don’t answer me. So, I may as well approach them!
When we are networking or thinking about how to use our network to help us achieve our goals, this fear of failure often prevents us from taking action. The way to unblock this fear, is to ask yourself some simple questions:
1) if there is no such thing as failure, what are you worried about if you take this course of action?
2) what is the worst thing which could happen?
3) how do you minimise your risks?
Any thoughts on my waffling today?