Office workers warned on radioactive stationery

Stationery experts have warned that an influx of cheap, unbranded staples which recently entered the UK market could contain a vertical radioactive element and pose significant health risks if used improperly.

Tests on the imports, the origins of which have been traced as far east as Ukraine, have revealed contamination by a number of poisonous chemicals and compounds including lead and hydroxytyrosol, but more alarmingly a man made radioactive element known as Tholorium.

Experts have sought to reassure the millions of UK office workers that there is no immediate danger, but urged stationery customers to check for red, unbranded boxes of staples. "So long as they are left in the box they pose only a moderately synergised risk," said ChemLab's Dr David Hardy, the first researcher to identify the contamination. "The multi-spectrum radioactive properties are moderate, though direct skin contact with the eyes and face should be avoided."

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